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Preparing for Game of Thrones S03E10: Preview & safety tips

Baby, come back: What next for Ygritte? Game of Thrones S03E10 is only a few days away.

Get ready for the Game of Thrones S03 finale

"Game of Thrones" S03E10 airs on June 9. Let's get ready.

(This post contains spoiler references to last week's episode, just so you know.)

After the Red Wedding, it's difficult to imagine ending the season with a  more spectacular event; and it has been the show's tendency to go the other way. So far, both S01E10 and S02E10 were more restrained than their respective penultimate episodes, though the rebirth of Daenerys Targaryen as the mama of Team Dragon Mama is one of my favorite TV moments.

I'm really looking forward to how Tyrion Lannister reacts to his father Tywin's latest move: Tyrion is (for lack of a better word) nicer than his siblings, but he still puts family first. I really don't think he'd have a problem with what went down.

Also, what about Edmure Tully? Are we presuming that he was also killed, or are we entertaining the oddly-hilarious notion that he and his new tween bride were banging away in front of a live studio audience while the Red Wedding was earning its name in the next room?

What about Ygritte? It's not easy to be a young wildling in love, especially if you Crow beau just rode off into the rain after getting attacked by a mind-controlled eagle. #StillBetterThanOnlineDating

Arya Stark will have to flip the page and add a new name to her hit list. I wonder if she'll be able to recruit The Hound, who is now unable to collect a reward for the youngest Stark girl's safe return.

Also, will Brienne of Tarth and Jaime hook up already, or what?! I mean, come on.

Preparation, preparation, preparation

Okay, I know that all of you Dire Wolf fans will be front and center, but let's take a sec to strategize.

After the WTFestival that was S03E09, I must suggest some... not exactly precautions, but steps to take in anticipation of the Game of Thrones Season 3 finale.

  1. Beware the Game of Thrones drinking game. It's survivable only if you're Shane MacGowan. If you played this one for "The Rains of Castamere", then you're already dead of alcohol poisoning and are reading this from some sort of digital afterlife. Trippy in and of itself, but moving right along.
  2. Put up some protective material between you and your television screen. Plexiglass works, if you clean it really well. Basically, don't put yourself in a position to destroy your expensive-ass TV because your favorite character dies/your least favorite character survives. Alternately, you can bring in an old-school television set. Those screens can survive the occasional flying cup of swinging fist.
  3. Wear trousers you don't mind staining. I was thinking in terms of spilling your sback or drink due to shock, but you can fill out that particular scenario as you see fit. I will not judge you.
  4. Stay away from social media on June 9 before watching the episode. Avoiding spoilers for "Game of Thrones" is difficult as it is, but expect reactions to basically blow up Facebook and Twitter. Chatter will be completely unavoidable unless you unplug. So unplug. Then, once you've watched, find my inevitable recap and review. (Conversely, should you pass along spoilers yourself, prepare for the inevitable online backlash.)
  5. Decide whether or not you even want to watch the S03E10 preview, which you can find below. I, for one, chose not to. However, do read the HBO interview with the awesome Michelle Fairley (Catelyn Stark).

A little game I like to call 'Westeros or Scotland?'

One last note on S03E09: The Red Wedding has precedent in real-life history: The Glen Coe Massacre, in which the Maclains (a part of Clan MacDonald who were basically real-life Dukes of Hazzard) were slaughtered by their own houseguests, who had been couch-surfing in the Maclains' blizzard-locked castle for 12 days.

Oh, and don't forget the murder of the Earl of Douglas, also known as The Black Dinner. A black bull's head was on the menu, as was swift and violent death. Yeah, Scottish history is pretty intense.

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