"Felina": The "Breaking Bad" finale

Okay, meth heads, only a few days before the "Breaking Bad" series finale. September 29 is already circled on your calender, I trust. Let's dig into the preview, then get into some life-or-death predictions.

But first, I'll be attending One Last Cook, featuring Vince Gilligan at the Vancouver International Film Festival on September 27. If you see me, say hello. Okay, "Breaking Bad" series finale preview time. Some S05E15 spoilers ahead, but no finale spoilers. Just speculation.

Volatile chemicals react

"Breaking Bad" S05E16 is titled "Felina". You can check out the trailer above. It starts with a line from S01E01, in which a still-innocent Walt addresses a restless high school class: "Chemistry is the study of transformation", and that's exactly what "Breaking Bad" has been. The characters have transformed, as has the series. As have we, going from black-comedy fans wondering how "Breaking Bad" would differ from "Weeds" into engaging in heated discussions with anyone who would listen about whether or not Walt is redeemable.

The S05E16 trailer continues into a montage of scenes from the past few episodes, winding us up for the final showdown(s) as Walt intones, "I've still got things to do." The trailer shows no new scenes. It's 100% spoiler-free. For all we know, it'll be a puppet episode like in "Community."

Though I desperately hope not.

As for the title, I'm not sure what "Felina" refers to, but theories abound. My personal favorite involves the Marty Robbins song "El Paso", a song about love and obsession that drives one to ruin.

From the Granite State to the ABQ

After abandoning his family, Walt then abandoned his whiskey at a New Hampshire bar, spurred towards vengeance and perhaps driven by a need to be understood. (This week sees the 22nd anniversary of Nirvana's "Nevermind". Kurt Kobain also struggled with that need, to mortal consequences. "Breaking Bad" has featured money in pools and babies in distress. Discuss.)

So, going back to the opening scenes of S05E01 and S05E09, we know that Walt makes it back to Albuquerque, buys a big-ass M60 off that guy from "Deadwood", then goes back to the ruins of Rancho Depresso to collect his vial of ricin. We still don't know who gets the ricin, and who gets to say hello to Walt's little friend.

I'm guessing the M60 is for the neo-Nazis, and the ricin is for Lydia.

As for Uncle Jack and his gang, it's kind of funny that they considered $70 million be "all the money in the world". That's, what, $15 million each? In today's economy, it won't go as far as they may think, considering their daily ammunition requirements. Then again, judging by their clothing, cars, and taste in beer, they're not men of expensive tastes, nor are they shopaholics.

His feelings for Lydia aside, Todd is right: since the whole Beanie Baby craze died, the gang's financial future lies with the industrial-scale production of Blue Sky crystal meth.

Kilos of crystal methamphetamine/
I couldn't get this cash no quicker by no better means.

                                      - Ice-T, "Ya Hustle Ain't On"