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Breaking Bad S05 recap: Getting you ready for the last 8 episodes

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Team Heisenberg is really just Heisenberg at this point. Jesse has walked away, and the DEA is all up in Mike's face, led by Hank Schrader, Walt's brother-in-law. Walt is training Todd for a career in the lucrative field of meth production.

Mike and Walt fight over access to Mike's now-imprisoned crew of underlings, who require monthly STFU payments to keep them from turning on our anti-heroes. Before realizing that he could have just gotten the list from Lydia, Walt shoots Mike. >_<

And now, a brief tribute to Mike. Rest in peace, you ruthless, pragmatic, grandfatherly bastard.

Thug life

Walt then moves from meth manufacturing to mass murder, using a neo-Nazi gang to assassinate Mike's snitches-in-waiting.

Walt is more successful than ever now: thanks to Lydia, Blue Sky is now flyin' 'cross the At-lantic to the Czech Republic, where I guess it's called Modrá Obloha.

Meanwhile, Skyler has been keeping her kids out of the house for as long as possible, not because it's the most depressing interior this side of Purgatory, but because she's convinced that Walt's, er, lifestyle will endanger Walt Jr. and Holly. By the way, why does Walt Jr. insist on being called "Flynn"? I, for one, refuse to call him Flynn. Moving right along.

Turns out the manufacture of weapons-grade crystal meth is quite lucrative, and Skyler can no longer keep up with the sheer volume of cash that Walt is bringing in. Instead of laundering it through the car wash (seriously, the single worst idea for a money-laundering scheme in the history of money-laundering schemes), she's stashing it in a storage locker (which must be sprayed for silverfish. Silverfish.)

Walt eyes the ca$h and tells Skyler that he's out of the Blue Sky Biz. For some reason, she believes him.

Walt then visits Jesse and they reminisce about the Winnebago, the toxic fumes, the sudden violence... good times. Walt leaves Jesse with $5 million; Jesse thought Walt was gonna leave him dead. Walt and Skylar have Hank and Marie (Skyler's sister, who wears more purple than Prince) over to their house, ignoring the fact that every time they do so, something awful happens.

W.W. ... OMFG

We were left with one hell of a cliffhanger: whilst dropping the kids off at the pool, Uncle Hank is thumbing through the books in Walt's bathroom, and finds the Walt Whitman book with the inscription from Gale. Hank realized that W.W. is none other than Walt, that his nemesis has been right under his nose the whole time.

How did Hank not see this coming? Walt is easily the sketchiest dude in ABQ: an unemployed former science teacher who keeps bringing home ever-more-expensive domestic cars; a guy with multiple cell phones and too many excuses for the odd hours he keeps.

It's because Hank has no respect for Walt. Hank is a man of action: investigations and shootouts, Hank's a certified badass. Walt, on the other hand, come on: his pants are pulled up too high, his shirt is buttoned too tight. He's awkward, goofy, and can't keep his family together. Dude, he looks like the dad from "Malcolm in the Middle": the idea that Walt could be Heisenberg would seem insane.


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