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Game of Thrones S05E06 recap and review: 'Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken' (Spoiler alert)

You'll laugh.
You'll cry.
You'll seek a vaccine.
It's the recap and review of Game of Thrones S05E06: 'Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken'.

Arya's training takes a strange turn in Game of Thrones S05E06. You've found the recap and review for "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken". Spoilers lurk in the shadows.

Game of Thrones S05E06 recap and review

Welcome back, Dire Wolf Fans! Here you’ll find the recap and review for Game of Thrones S05E06, titled “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken”, which is also probably the name of a Destiny's Child song. Spoiler alert, obviously.

Previously, on Game of Thrones... Daenerys Targaryen used her two captive dragons to send a powerful message to the power players in Mereen who might be orchestrating the Sons of the Harpy attacks.

Oh, and Dani will marry the pit-fighting mogul of Mereen, because, uh, ... because she said so.

Also, Ser Jorah Mormont and Tyrion Lannister found out the hard way that Greyscale turns people into homicidal cliff-divers. Jorah will be experiencing the transformation first-hand (as it were). Also-also, Stannis Baratheon and Team Sexy Witch Religious Fundamentalism is marching towards Winterfell, while Jon Snow embarks on a diplomatic mission to the Wildlings north of The Wall. As far as project management goes, the scheduling here seems questionable.

Also-also-also, Sansa Stark is discovering friends (and enemies) hidden throughout Winterfell as she prepares to join with Psycho Hobbit in unholy matrimony. Psycho Hobbit’s own life is getting complicated as well, what with jealous fuck-buddies and political machinations far above his head. It ain’t easy being a Bolton (but it’s easier than being a Stark... or a Greyjoy). Okay, let’s get into it.

Shall we play a game?

At Ninja Junior High, Arya Stark is sponging dead bodies, since wax-on-wax-off is played out. (Maisie Williams' physical work in this moment is totally believable, by the way: I'm getting the trepidation, the attention to detail, and the bloody-mindedness of Arya.)

When she finishes cleaning a corpse, a couple ninjas silently walks in, places it on a stretcher, and leaves as what sounds like the Well of the Souls music is playing.

As Arya moves to follow the stretcher-ninjas, The Waif stops her. Turns out Arya's been here for weeks, just scrubbin' those corpses. The Waif says, "Look, kid, I'm not explaining why you're scrubbing corpses. You're scrubbing corpses, and that's all there is to it. Now scrub! Those! Corpses!"

Arya is keen to get on with the Game of Faces, but The Waif points out that she failed last time. Arya's like, "But I didn't even know I was playing!" Creeper's like, " ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ " . The Waif drops a badass origin story: Once Upon a Time, she was the only daughter of a lord in Westeros. Lord remarried, had a daughter. Evil stepmother tried to poison her to head off any rivalries. She called the Faceless Men (who are like the A-Team of murder), who helped her poison the stepmother instead. Now here she is at Ninja Junior High.

Then The Waif is like, "... But I might have made that whole thing up! Bam! Directed by M. Night Shyamalan! Now get back to work!"

Later, Jaqen H'gar lurks into Arya's cell, waking her up by intoning, "Who are you?" Arya pops up and recaps her own origin story. Jaqen smacks her with a wooden stick whenever she lies about something... like hating The Hound, for instance.

After getting whacked in the face for lying about hating The Hound again, Arya whines, "I'm not playing this stupid game anymore!" Jaqen is all, "We never stop playing." He leaves without another word. Not for nothin', but I'd think getting hit with a stick is probably the best thing that could happen to you at Ninja Junior High.

Accidental recap

Across the Narrow Sea, Ser Jorah Mormont is quickly looking something up on his smartphone...

Washing it off doesn't help, either. Oh, come on, Jorah, if Greyscale just washed off, it wouldn't be such a big deal, now, would it?

Anyway, Tyrion Lannister is snarkily pointing out the conspicuous lack of helpful villagers. And food. Tyrion is like, "I'm trying to form a new action-comedy duo with you, why won't you just be funnier?!" Jorah's like, "STFU!" Tyrion's all, "Did that. For months. Sailed from King's Landing to Volantis after killing my dad. He wanted to execute me, and he was banging the woman I loved, and he died on the toilet like Elvis."

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