Game of Thrones S04E03 recap and review: 'Breaker of Chains'

Game of Thrones is back with 'Breaker of Chains'. Can they top last week's WTF-fest? Catch the S04E03 recap and review right here.

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Olenna continues that the Lannisters still need the Tyrells, and she "did wonderful work on Joffrey." As for marriages, "The next one shall be easier."

Well, that escalated quickly

Cersei Lannister and her son Tommen Baratheon are sitting in a church, where Joffrey's body is lying in state. They are taking cold comfort in the fact that young Joffrey died as he had lived: behaving like a spoiled, cruel, dickhead. Yes, we must wallow in our Joffrey-hate. It’s what he’d have wanted.

Joffrey or Gumby?

Tywin Lannister pops in to tell Tommen that he will become King next. Tywin reckons Tommen will be a good king because he has "the right temperament for it." In other words, he's not a psychotic hyena-boy. Tywin walks his grandson through some Poli Sci 101, listing a few kings whose supposed virtues got them killed. Wisdom is the key attribute for a great King, is what Tywin is getting at. "Wisdom", conveniently enough, means "doing what Tywin says."

So, a puppet king to replace a butt-Muppet king.

They leave the church as Jaime Lannister enters; he shares a few quick words of comfort with his younger nephew/half-brother/whatever.

We’ll never know what it would sound like if Jaime slapped Joffrey with that metal hand. We’ll never know.

Cersei tenuously connects some vague threat Tyrion made is S02 ("The day will come when you think you're safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth.") to Joffrey's death, imploring Jaime to kill their bro. Jaime isn't buying it. You can see Jaime silently acknowledge that his and Cersei's son was a real See-You-Next-Tuesday.

Then, remembering that he's Jaime Lannister, he starts making out with his sister; and, in a moment that somehow never made it into that one Ludacris song, starts making out with Cersei on their son's funeral slab.

Cersei and Jaime

She's not into it, though. Then, because this is "Game of Thrones", things get... dark.

Jaime may have changed on his journey with Brienne of Tarth, but the whole "No means no" thing hasn't quite sunk in. Cersei keeps saying that what they're doing isn't right (The incest, or incest next to their son's corpse? Please clarify), but Jaime won't stop.

Raping your sister? It's a King's Landing thing.

Questionable behavior

Harya! Arya Stark asks Sandor "The Hound" Clegane where they are. The Hound finishes taking a piss and replies, "Jordan thought we were approaching Winterfell, but he was wrong. We're near a place called Fairmarket."

Eating radishes, Arya asks The Hound where he'll go after trading her for a fistfull of dollars. He's like, "Why do you care? But, yeah, I'm gonna cross the Narrow Sea and become a sellsword. *SNORT*"

The Hound

A farmer and his daughter roll up, asking what The Hound is doing on his land. The Hound wastes no time in being a confrontational dick, but Arya smooths things over with an ad-libbed sob story. When asked which house The Hound fought for in the War of Five Kings, Arya answers, "House Tully of Riverrun". Achievement: unlocked! They're invited back to the farmer's barn for shelter and rabbit stew. Remember, kids: you'll get further with lying than with douchebaggery.

Arya Stark

Over dinner, the farmer prays for food, safety, and for his daughter not to be brutally gang-raped. The Hound is like, "STFU, now let's eat!" Arya is all, "Uh... sorry about my, er, dad." Harya then slurp their stew like rabid beasts. The farmer and his daughter are like, O_o.

The farmer mentions the Red Wedding. "Walder Frey committed sacrilege that day," he says, before pulling out his iPad and showing Harya his S03E09 reaction video. He's like, "Walder's bony ass will burn in the Seventh Hell for this."

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