Game of Thrones S04E03 recap and review: 'Breaker of Chains'

Game of Thrones is back with 'Breaker of Chains'. Can they top last week's WTF-fest? Catch the S04E03 recap and review right here.

Daenerys Targaryen
You won't believe what guys will do to impress Daenerys Targaryen. Actually, yes, you probably will. This is Game of Thrones S04E03: 'Breaker of Chains'.

Game of Thrones S04E03: 'Breaker of Chains' recap

Welcome back, Dire Wolf fans! Here you’ll find the recap and review for “Game of Thrones” S04E03, titled “Breaker of Chains". We're all still a bit bruised from the Purple Wedding, but there's to be no respite. Also, spoiler alert.

Speaking of S04E02, seems I chose a hell of a week to go skiing. We had a Jaime-Bronn training montage, and Psycho Hobbit answered the age-old question: Who let the dogs out?

Joffrey the Asshat set new benchmarks for douchiness at his wedding. It was a lavish affair: they had what looked like a bouncy castle, and they got Mumford and Sons to play. That clown show probably generated reaction videos on YouTube. Meanwhile, Loras Tyrell and Oberyn Martell found each other on Grindr. Cersei noticed the Jaime-Brienne thing, so I’m totally vindicated.

Then something else happened… Oh, right, Joffrey Baratheon was poisoned. It was the best day ever.

Joffrey Baratheon dead

Unfortunately, though, it looks like Tyrion Lannister is taking the fall for it. (Now I’m no Benedict Cumberbatch/Jonny Lee Miller, but Oberyn Martell is a very strong suspect. All he’s done since getting to King’s Landing is threaten various Lannisters. Well, besides banging anything with a pulse.)

Okay, let’s get into it.

Maid of the Mist

So, yeah, Joffrey is deader than fried chicken. We open the episode with a shot of the boy-king looking like Darth Vader without his helmet.

Darth Vader, Joffrey Baratheon

Tyrion Lannister is getting marched off by guards, holding the fatal goblet.

Until recently, Tyrion’s life consisted of three things: Getting drunk, getting laid, and getting even. Now he’ll have to keep his head from staring back up at the rest of his body from the floor.

Tywin Lannister has put King's Landing on lockdown. Even as she accuses her brother, Cersei Lannister suspiciously wonders where Margaery Tyrell, Joffrey's newly-minted bride, has gotten off to.

Dontos Hollard (stripped of his "Ser" by the now-deceased Joffrey) whisks Sansa Stark off to a boat: hey, isn't that the same waterside platform where Jaime Lannister and Bronn had their training session?

Dontos rows them into the creepy mist, and up to a creepy ship. She climbs a creepy rope-ladder... into the creepy arms of Petyr Baelish!

Petyr Baelish

Uncle Pete owes Dontos ten grand for delivering Sansa, but cannot make change for an arrow to the face... so he just gives Dontos an arrow to the face. "He was a drunk and a fool, and I don't trust drunk fools!" Is it just me, or is Petyr's accent different than it was last season? Maybe spending time at sea makes him sound slightly more pirate. At any rate, Littlefinger explains that Sansa will be a suspect in Joffrey's murder, since Joffrey killed her father Ned Stark (RIP).

Oh, and that heirloom necklace Dontos gave Sansa? It's fake. Petyr bought it off SkyMall. All part of his plan. He keeps telling Sansa that she's safe... but every day is opposite day with Petyr Baelish.

So how does this 'Queen' thing work?

Margaery is asking Lady Olenna "Awesome" Tyrell if she's indeed still Queen. Olenna is like, "Well, yeah, kinda, but you'd be even more the Queen if Joffrey had put the wood to you." Margaery recounts how horrible Joffrey's death looked.

Olenna Tyrell

Margaery laments her luck in ending up with the guys she married.

Margaery Tyrell

Olenna replies that being married to Joffrey would have been way worse than watching him die. Duh. Watching him die was freakin' awesome.

(Real talk, though: Joffrey’s death is actually tough on us as an audience, because we love to hate him so much. Who will fill his douchcanoe shoes?)

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