Finding the G-spot

Emily, our lecturer, tells us, “I don’t have a degree in the G-Spot, just a keen interest.” So does everyone in the room: we’re gathered on an early summer evening at The Art of Loving for a presentation on the G-Spot and female ejaculation. We’ve been handed textbook-style diagrams, which some are studying with scholastic rigor. It's the sort of test you really want to pass.

You may think the G-Spot is a no-brainer, but history begs to differ. As recently as 2010, British scientists could not find the G-Spot; but they must not have been looking very hard, as the French were quick to point out.

Maybe those scientists just needed to watch some porn. When you think about it, the connection between pornography and sex ed is really obvious. As I watch one woman stimulate another’s G-Spot while a third woman narrates from an adjacent chair, I wonder what it would take to get this sort of thing into schools, where sex ed doesn’t get its due attention. Probably a tough sell, huh?

Emily presses the Pause button (As must be common at this point in the video) to point out the often-elusive G-Spot to a woman in the front row. The woman asks, “So she’s been masturbating for an hour?”
“I don’t know,” replies Emily, “It’s porn-time.”

Since female sexuality has traditionally terrified men, we as a society know far less about it than perhaps we should; at least, we don’t know much regarding the elements that don’t directly involve childbirth. This is why the G-Spot has gotten so little attention, clinically speaking. (Yes, the Kinsey Institute studied the G-Spot back in the day, and we all learned from that. For example, if you’re thinking of probing for your G-Spot with a pointy cotton swab, …don’t.)

We could do well by reassessing that notion. G-Spot stimulation promotes female ejaculation, and female ejaculation may play a role in providing a hospitable environment for sperm. In other words, there may be a biological imperative for  not just attracting a mate, but also actually being good in bed. Dousing yourself in Alpha-Male body spray would only be half the battle, then, so pick up an instruction manual on female ejaculation.

Turns out that that may be more difficult than you anticipated. While male masturbation can be reduced to a single glyph on a bathroom wall, Emily’s instructions for discovering female ejaculation is two pages long.

Emily passes around several sex toys suited for G-Spot stimulation, some of which look like they’d be banned by the TSA for airline travel. There are also Kegel-exercise toys (or tools?) for strengthening pelvic-floor muscles .  These include a pair of steel balls to be inserted and held in the vagina. Emily tells us, “Some people can juggle them. Something you can do on a plane.” That answers my TSA question, as Emily goes on to describe her own Kegel-exercise regime. I am reminded of the “Rocky” training montage as we hear how science and fitness helped our lecturer achieve greater sexual satisfaction.

It’s funny how our own bodies remain so much of a mystery to us, and how easily we can break that mystery down if we really want to. It’s also funny how the word “taint” will always be funny.

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