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Amy Goodman Gets Brilliant Story Idea from Canadian Border Guards

Photo of Amy Goodman courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Well, it's official. Suspicion of criticizing the 2010 Olympics gets you on a watch list at the Canadian border. Want to come to Canada and discuss the environmental shame that is the tar sands? Go ahead. Want to meddle in Canadian military policy in Afghanistan? Fill your boots. Want to criticize the Government's position on Global Warming? Whatever, dude.

 

But if you cross the border and you've got that look on your face that says “The ice on the luge track might be a bit slushy if El Niño makes its way through,” then watch out! The Canadian Border Services Agency will not tolerate any Olympic dissent!

 

On Wednesday night, American Journalist Amy Goodman, host of the independent radio show, Democracy Now, was crossing into Canada. She was scheduled to speak in Vancouver and Victoria, while on a tour promoting her new book Breaking the Sound Barrier, on the subjects of Iraq, Afghanistan, Medicare, and global warming – all sensitive issues that might make a patriotic border guard give pause.

 

So when Goodman told the border guards why she was coming to Canada, she was asked to pull over, brought inside and questioned for an hour and a half. Known for being bold and forthright, she was honest about the subject matter she'd be covering. When she said she'd be discussing Afghanistan, they said “What else?”

 

"Global warming."

 

“What else?”

 

"Medicare."

 

“What Else?”

 

It must have made her wonder if she was at the Canadian border crossing, or a on a game show trying to guess the secret word. So Goodman had to just come straight out and ask, “Like what, 'what else?'”

 

And they said, “Will you be talking about the Olympics?” Being American, the only Olympics currently on her radar was the failed bid for Chicago and President Obama's participation. The guards said, "No, will you be speaking about the Olympics in Vancouver?"

 

(Editor's note: Nice to know the Canadian border guards are doing their job. How brilliant! Give North America's top left-wing journalist the idea to "start talking about the Olympics on one of the most listened to radio programmes. I sense an award in the offing.")

 

I'd love to see the memo that came down instructing this new policy.

 

“Dirty bombs and child pornography are no longer priorities for border officials. When questioning people entering the country, ask them what they think about the speed skating oval. If response is anything less than enthusiastic (“I never really thought about it” is not an acceptable answer.) then begin stage two interrogation. Ask them if they, or anyone they know, has ever been a member of a bronze medal match. Keep them busy until reinforcements can be dispatched.”

 

At this moment, sniffer dogs are being trained to smell anxiety caused by ambivalence toward the torch relay.

 

This is a blight that Canadians will not tolerate.

 
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