Stone-faced  Kardashians unveiled their cheerless Christmas cards today.

The expressionless family posed for family photographer Nick Saglimbeni, who shot them in both 2-D and 3-D. Maybe next year's cards will talk, fly and express emotion.

In one portrait, Kris Jenner's hands are perched on her husband Bruce Jenner's sturdy shoulder. In another, Kim Kardashian is looking away from the camera, intense, with hands on hips and a "watch-out-who-you-mess-with" expression. Could she be thinking of her ex-husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries, who's clearly absent?

And what better place for an icy and winterized shoot then stone stairs?

In the blogosphere, some said  the family looked "amazing" and "sophisticated", while others said  the girls look "uptight" and "borderline evil" and that the guys seem  "relaxed" if not "douchey."

"There’s nothing I love more than getting everyone together for the Christmas card shoot! I love everyone’s matching bow ties!" Kourtney Kardashian gushed on her Celebuzz blog.

Kourntey recommends you put on the 3-D glasses when viewing the fiercely retouched portraits. "It's crazy," she said, referring to the 3-D version.

"Where as last year's yuletide feat of airbrushed uncanny put viewers in a trance state, this year's card will makes you go, "A-woooo-gah!" Gawker wrote.

2010 K-card, Courtesy of

Take a good look at the 2-D batch before you dare put on the 3-D glasses:

Kim Kardashian

Bruce and Kris Jenner

Robert Kardashian, Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom