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One soul for one Ipad

Deals for the devil: my pooch for your Ipad?

None of us in The Vancouver Observer office can  afford to run out and buy the iPad, the latest technological wunder-gadget. But that won’t stop us from dreaming up ways to get our hands on this delicious addition to Apple’s repertoire. We just can’t help ourselves. Our lust is that of a kid screaming for a chocolate-covered ice cream treat in the dead heat of summer.

Linda Solomon, publisher of the VO, feels her temperature rise when she thinks about the iPad.   

“Even since I read yesterday, on tippett.org, that Michael Tippet thinks ebooks have made reading a better experience and that iPad has gone even further than ebooks, I've felt feverish about it.”

“I would sell Pookie [my dog] but my children wouldn’t let me.”

VO staff are willing to sacrifice their political values, morals, and even their family to the altar of the iPad gods.

“I'd be Dick Cheney's Personal Assistant,“ said Thomas Posyniak, a writer, legal consultant, and the snappiest dresser in the Observer office, who answers to the title ‘most interesting person in the world.’

“I would trade my old phone, my sister-in-law’s laptop complete with sister-in-law,” said Mary Caros, advertising sales, PR, and the ‘second most interesting person in the world’.

Memories be damned, Meghan Strain, assistant publisher, plans to sell her “very expensive, lovely wedding dress that I will never wear again,” to buy an iPad in the near future.

“I’d way prefer to have an iPad lying around my house.”

Why would we go to such great lengths to buy our own personal tablet computers? Because in an iPad world, “I’d be happy,” Caros said.

“I just have this vision of it doing everything for me. It would serve up scintillating comments. The world would just look more beautiful. I have this vision that I could connect to more things that I cannot connect to now,” she said.

In an iPad world, we would dress differently and become more interesting people.

“I’d buy horn-rimmed glasses, live on Main Street, and wear tighter pants,” Posyniak said.

“I’d ride on the SkyTrain with it and have it out prominently. I’d sit in cafes and I’d pretend to write,” said Caros.

We’d even change our political affiliations for an iPad.

“I’d vote for Gregor Robertson just because it would fit with the iPad look,” said Caros, who does not live in the municipality of Vancouver.

Although some of us have limits.

“I’d sell my sister to an evil corporation…But I would not vote for Gregor Robertson,” said Posyniak.

Consumerists? Who us? Marx may be rolling over in his grave, but our iPad fetish is an itch that just won’t go away. Our first Apple tasted so sweet that we can’t help but reach for another, even if some people say the iPad is a bad apple. Call it “original sin,” version 2010.

But not all of us at The Observer feel the urge for more forbidden fruit.  

“I’m happy with my MacBook pro and my iPhone. Between my iPhone and my laptop there’s no in-between for me,“ Allie Kurgan, VO graphic designer, said.

And as for me? I’ll be over here, typing away on my very reasonably priced PC and later on, I might go check out a book from the library and read it while satisfying my own addiction: Klondike Bars.

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