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Eight things I want under my tree this year

Get me a sweater like this and I'll never speak to you again. Ever.

Only six more shopping weekends until Christmas!

Actually, if you want my top holiday tip, try to avoid shopping on the weekends from now on - if you're anything like me, no three shot, eggnog latte will be enough to help you survive the insanity that will be unfolding in every shopping mall on the weekends from now until Friday, December 24th.

If you can manage, do some shopping online. There's nothing more satisfying than ticking off that list while wearing nothing but your flannel boxers and listening to something other than a vile Christmas tune remix. If this is appealing to you at all- and it should be- then get on it right away. Online shopping can't be done with only a few weeks to spare and you'll be risking disappointment.

That being said, I have spent some time compiling my Christmas list and have decided to share it with all of you. As a distinguished Gay with great taste and a penchant for fabulous techno trinkets, I am certain you will find things here to add to your own list, or if you're feeling particularly generous you can pick something special for the one you love - just tell them Morris told you it was a must-have item this year.

First up: The Razorpit Razor Blade Sharpener.

$30.00 at MASC on Davie Street.

This little rubber unit claims to prolong the life of your disposable blade by up to 150 shaves. Seriously. Wow. Even if it only gives me a dozen extra shaves from my ridiculously over priced mach turbo what-evers, this gizmo is a total must have. In fact, get one for your lover, husband or father too. They'll appreciate it. Trust me.

Second on the list: Freehand Stretch Gloves.

  $30.00 online at Freehands.com.

I was sold at "magnetically secured, fold-back finger tips for calling or texting". Waterproof and windproof, these cosy looking gloves will be a god send for any iphone or blackberry addict. They also feature a digital palm patch for good gripping, which is totally essential, right?

Thirdly: The Batavus Bub Utility Bike.

  $550.00-$650.00 at Rain City Bikes on Broadway.

This bike is rad, and seeing as Vancouver streets are rapidly becoming safe bike zones, I figure why fight it? It features wide set, upright handle bars, is light weight and has a built in lock! Apparently the 3 speeds are sufficient for this fair city of ours, but 5 and 7 speeds are also available.

And if I'm getting the bike, I want this fourth item: The tunebug shake!

 $99.99 in select Apple stores.

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