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Vancouver housewives: catfights, guns and rehab

Episode eight of the first season of the Real Housewives of Vancouver airs tonight as the drama continues to unfold. 

Tonight marks the eighth episode of the Real Housewives of Vancouver season one, and feuds have been erupting like land mines. The war that broke out at the Keefer Hotel between Mary and Ronnie during episode six (over Ronnie's drinking habits), has created an equal divide between the good and the downright bitchy. Mary and Christina are the kind-hearted but bullied figures on the show, who are up against the vicious Jody and Ronnie, leaving Reiko to play the neutral (but well-armed) Switzerland-figure in the Housewife clan.

Rehab

Between the spat with Mary and the slew of scandalous text messages, Ronnie became the one stirring up the most trouble over the last few episodes. But in light of a day centered around herself -- Ronnie's birthday -- the air cleared a little and Ronnie jumped back onto the 'Mary's longtime-friend' bandwagon.

Seeing more and more of Ronnie's kids lately, it seems that she has two completely different sides to her. Around her boys she  seems more relaxed and playful. But when she's around the other housewives, Ronnie is very  guarded and often stirs up trouble.

Ronnie is however, proving that she is not just a housewife but a sharp business woman too. After shipping her son off to boarding school, she's has been focusing on creating her own wine with grapes straight from her Napa Valley vineyard. The wine, although still in the works, was designated the name Rehab, apparently accurately so -- when the label designers asked Ronnie what her connection to the name was, she answered:

"I've been to rehab before and it was fabulous: the only thing missing was the happy hour."

"Did you say we weren't Jewish?"

At the end of episode seven it looked like things began to settle between Mary and Ronnie, at least for now. But self acclaimed queen-bee Jody just couldn't let timid Mary escape the bullying that easily.

A few episodes ago, Mary and Ronnie had briefly mentioned Jody's background, wondering out loud if she were Jewish. Mary innocently replied that she was unfamiliar with Jody's background but didn't think she was Jewish - which of course lead to the over-dramatized incident. Apparently, Mary slandered Jody for suggesting she was not being Jewish enough.

Of course, the 'evil spawn', aka Mia, Jody's oldest daughter and twin with younger skin, felt it was her duty to protect the family and take this on as her battle. It seemed strangely appropriate that Mia stepped in, since the argument was the epitome of high school drama.

How does something simple get so twisted out of proportion? Remember hearing as a child that mean girls have nothing but jealousy as their motives? This incident is no different.

To give some context: while out for Ronnie's birthday dinner, Mary showed up in cowgirl attire (in preparation for the after party at Bourbon, Vancouver's country bar). Part of Mary's ensemble was a feminine floral print, long-sleeved but slightly cropped top. The former Miss Ohio looked phenomenal.

Jody, on the other hand, showed up in an outfit that Christina referred to as "Davy Crockett  in drag" - so naturally, Jody would be jealous of Mary's rocking body and superior fashion choice.

Instead of being downright mean for no reason, this night, Jody became mean out of jealously - that's right Jody, we caught you. With comments such as "Stomach shirts at 48, seriously" and  "Who does she think she is, Brittany Spears," followed by saying that her outfit was "not appropriate" and that she was "appalled" were all a little more than over-the-top comments.

On a lighter note, we can always count on Christina to bring -- well, not necessarily "wholesome", but at least a less catty form of entertainment to the show. Last week we saw her rocking both the mechanical bull at Bourbon and looking the part at the gun range with her Lara Croft-inspired leather pants and black turtle neck.

Gun-wielding Christina shows them how it's done.

Things are definitely spicing up for the Housewives of Vancouver and tonight's episode guarantees more drama.  Mary calls Jody out for her daughters "horrendous" behaviour last week. As Jody fight Mary, Reiko walks out of the conversation, avoiding the tension. Jody and Reiko later have a discussion about Reiko's refusal to choose sides as Jody threatens:

"I'm never covering your back again".

Reiko responds courteously with a "be nice," which is predictably greeted with Jody's icy death glare. Sounds like some of the alliances will get shaken up tonight. 

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I must be having an optical illusion when I walk down the street.