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Why isn't anyone talking about the misogyny involved in Amanda Todd's life and death?

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Photo sourced from R.I.P Amanda Todd Facebook page

With the death of 15-year-old Amanda Todd, BC schools have some reckoning on their hands. Will they take the opportunity to look at the systemic causes of Todd’s experience of harassment and violence, or let the lessons that can be learned from this tragedy get lost in a swamp of ambiguities?

While articles rolled in on mainstream news websites, conversation erupted on Facebook and in personal correspondence over email with women who are engaged in anti-violence and anti-oppression work across the country. In the spirit of our immediate reactions, I am quoting their comments in full.

“I wasn't sure if I should read the [Toronto Sun] article, but I started and I'm disgusted by the framing, at least in what I've read so far. I didn't like how the first part hints that the moral of the story is ‘girls, don't flash your breasts on a webcam,’ like it was her fault,” says Zoe Mallet, a human rights advocate and scholar in Ottawa.

“It made me want to take a topless photo and post it online with a statement of protest. Of course, I won't do this because I know most people wouldn't understand or get it, but the urge was there.”

Jarrah Hodge, member of the City of Vancouver’s Women’s Advisory Committee and founder of feminist blog Gender Focus says, “I found it odd how there seemed to be no specific attempt to address the gender aspects including the factors that led to ‘the mistakes’ she made and the way she was manipulated and slut-shamed. At one point yesterday after they took the video down from YouTube, it was still up at some other sites like ebaumsworld,[...]and it was horrible to see how a lot of folks who didn't know she'd committed suicide were on about how ‘emo’ the video was and how it was ‘whining’ from someone who ‘doesn't know how to give a good BJ.’”

Feminist scholar and writer, and former BC high school teacher Fazeela Jiwa posted: “Why isn't anyone talking about the sexism and misogyny involved in Amanda Todd's life and death? 'Bullying' is important, yes, but it is a vague term that glosses over the structural reasons for why it happens, like race/gender/class/ability. If we don't start talking about the specifics of power structures in high schools, every ‘bullying’ campaign will be a waste of time.”

(182) Comments

Sharon Ellis October 13th 2012 | 2:14 PM

The man who stalked and shamed this young woman is to blame for most of this; that and the herd mentality.  People do things in a crowd that they woulnd't do alone, and they ignore things in a crowd that would send them looking for the local constabulary if they were alone. 

Add to this the 'slut' label. The young woman was lovely, a fragile young woman.  Since when is a photo of a body part worth this kind of bullying, shaming, and ostracism?  The comments I have seen have been repulsive and misogynist, and the attitudes haven't changed one little bit since I was a high school student fifty years ago.  It's depressing.

Considering that we now have a move to re-open debate on abortion and birth control, it leaves me frustrated and angry.  Every time I think I have hit the limits of outrage, something like this tells me I haven't.

 

 

 

fed_up_with_the_bs October 13th 2012 | 2:14 PM

Amanda - as young as she was, was also wise enough to know that she made mistakes!!!!!! Did you not get that part! Now, she made MISTAKES!!!!! So, she should DIE  for them???

All you are doing is proving my point about the feminazi third reich in effect. Maybe if you finished school and learned to read you would be able to grasp comprehension you stupid lamebrained idiot.

Good Lord.. you aren't even AWARE of your own stupidity and hypocrisy :

Should you DIE for mistakes you have made....

oh my goodness  - what is with people

So i should die for having an opinion... but goodness gracious, whats wrong with humanity, huh?

You sound like the bullys that harassed Amanda Todd. I hope to Christ that you aren't a parent. If you are, You should be locked away with other sickos like yourself and have your kids taken away from you.

Susanne Shaw October 13th 2012 | 3:15 PM

Alas, nudity or the occasional display of body parts is encouraged all the time on TV and young women get the wrong idea of how they should be behaving.  Note how all the males on TV are dressed conservatively, while the young women are dressed scantily.  The message is: women should look slutty and men should look in charge.

Besides that, men's clothes are better made and warmer than women's clothes, and a lot cheaper, too.  That's a sign of hidden misogyny and disrespect from the offshore companies  who took our manufacturing jobs and took over our governments. 

With our natural resources and manufacturing going to offshore sweatshops, we experienced a systemic lowering of wages and education, especially for women and the kids of poor parents.  I had hopes that there would be more women doctors than men by now (male doctors never listen to female patients, another sign of inherent misogyny), but poverty keeps women in their places as servents, rather than in charge of their own destinies. 

Not all misogyny is as blatant as it was in Amanda's case.  It's hidden, but it has put HUGE roadblocks in female lives.  It certain hampered my life's path, and consequently, my kids' destiny, too.  I felt like Amanda when I was 12-14, until I found rage and shaped it into stubborn persistence to push past some of the female-unfriendly roadblocks.  Even so, I made at least $20,000 less a year than most males doing the same work. 

My kids' father left the country rather than pay any child support.  Pretty rotten example of misogyny, eh?  But it's the norm, alas.  Only 5% of dads pay child support consistently.

ohnonotagain October 13th 2012 | 3:15 PM

Misandry runs rampid when women refuse to take responsibility for their actions :


-Letting children have computers and iphones out of sight from parents with no surveilance whatsoever. (BAD PARENTING)

-Not noticing when their kids cry for help in the different ways they do. this was an ongoing thing. HOW THE HELL DID HER MOTHER NOT NOTICE THE SIGNS??? (BAD PARENTING)

- Not teaching her daughter that its WRONG to flash people on cam as a child or a teen (BAD PARENTING)

-NOT sitting down with her child and EXPLAINING the concequences of going online as a naive overtrusting toddler. (BAD PARENTING)

Its SOOOOOO easy to blame "men" when you are a piss poor excuse for a mother looking for an easy way out. If you send a child off into the jungle (the world is a jungle.. lets face it) and not warn them about the lions and tigers (males AND FEMALE predators. yeah i said it. females too!).. what good is blaming the lions and tigers after your kids are already dead? Putting the blame on the lions and tigers only ensures that the lesson wasn't learned and it's guarenteed to happen again. and again. and again. and again. Why deprive your kids of knowing how to survive in this world? Wtf was her mother THINKING??

 

too bad the mother didn't hang herself. that piece of shit parent should be locked up with the bullies for ignoring her daughters cry for help. Anyone who thinks it was only the bullies fault needs their goddamn head examined.

May October 13th 2012 | 3:15 PM

 

 

 

ohnonotagain wrote:

Misandry runs rampid when women refuse to take responsibility for their actions :


-Letting children have computers and iphones out of sight from parents with no surveilance whatsoever. (BAD PARENTING)

-Not noticing when their kids cry for help in the different ways they do. this was an ongoing thing. HOW THE HELL DID HER MOTHER NOT NOTICE THE SIGNS??? (BAD PARENTING)

- Not teaching her daughter that its WRONG to flash people on cam as a child or a teen (BAD PARENTING)

-NOT sitting down with her child and EXPLAINING the concequences of going online as a naive overtrusting toddler. (BAD PARENTING)

Its SOOOOOO easy to blame "men" when you are a piss poor excuse for a mother looking for an easy way out. If you send a child off into the jungle (the world is a jungle.. lets face it) and not warn them about the lions and tigers (males AND FEMALE predators. yeah i said it. females too!).. what good is blaming the lions and tigers after your kids are already dead? Putting the blame on the lions and tigers only ensures that the lesson wasn't learned and it's guarenteed to happen again. and again. and again. and again. Why deprive your kids of knowing how to survive in this world? Wtf was her mother THINKING??

 

too bad the mother didn't hang herself. that piece of shit parent should be locked up with the bullies for ignoring her daughters cry for help. Anyone who thinks it was only the bullies fault needs their goddamn head examined.

 

I notice that you only blame the mother and not the father.  " too bad the mother didn't hang herself?"  really?

 

ohnonotagain October 13th 2012 | 3:15 PM


This article speaks volumes :

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/rachel-ehmke-13-year-old-_n_1501143.html

for you armchair feminists who never heard of rachel ehmke, she also killed herself before Amanda Todd did because of bullying.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote :

And while she was outgoing, athletic and friendly, the same group of girls reportedly threatened Rachel and kept calling her a "prostitute," though she had never kissed a boy, according to KMSP.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

So.. yeah... How come she didn't get the same publicity?

oh thats right...... because her bullies were not males..

 

Case closed. Step your parenting game up, ladies!

 

 

Wow October 13th 2012 | 3:15 PM
fed_up_with_the_bs wrote:

Sad part is... if this was a 16 year old boy who did the flashing and got bullied and killed himself, he would have been called a "sexual pervert" and he "deserved it"...

a girl does it, shes a heroine and / or a martyr. Notice the absence of females saying what she did (flashing online) was "wrong".

None of you. And with that absence, you are opening the door for it to happen to another female child because she doesn't know it's "wrong" cause you won't teach her that it is... and most of you got the nerve to call yourselves "mothers".

Amanda Todd's death is being used as a vehicle for feminazi's political ajendas and misandry ...that is just utterly disgusting. so once again, Amanda's being "used".. but this time by other women for their own selfish reasons.

Shame on you. Let the girl rest in peace and stop trying to politically rape her and scavange her death for fuel to run your  "misandry machine". Shes been through enough.

Stop being a bully.

First off, she was 12 or 13 at the time of the picture. So no, I do not believe that anyone in their right mind would call a 12 or 13 year old boy who showed his penis to an older woman, who begged for it, a pervert. That is a ridiculous statement. Also, no one is saying she is a heroine. She herself was the first to admit that showing her breast was a mistake. However, a grown man stalking a 12 or 13 year old CHILD and asking for indecent pictures of her is a heck of a lot worse than a young girl's mistake to show her breast. She was completely a victim.

Amanda wanted to help people, that was the point of her video. Unfortunately, she could not help herself. So yes, shame on us if we are trying to continue her message and bring awareness in order to help others. 

I don't know why you have this kind of hate towards feminism, but the misogyny and harrassment in this case is another side of the issue that does need to be addressed.

 

benjamin frost October 13th 2012 | 7:19 PM

No one knows who the attacker was, so the gender is only implied at this time.

McChuck October 13th 2012 | 7:19 PM

I find it sadly ironic that when some of society's "crawlers" posted topless pictures of Kate Middleton (Duchess of Cambridge, wife of Prince William), the world came running to her defense. Saying that, can some one please explain to my why when this young girl was exploited (physically and emotionally) she became the trolls' prey? Just being honest, but if Amanda Todd were my princess, I'd be demanding, "Off with their heads!"

Jjaks@hotmail.com October 13th 2012 | 8:20 PM

I was surprised to see how much sexism ad feminism played into this article. Of course feminists will take this chance to say what they will and make men out to be the devil however they are forgetting the true aspect that a young girl died because of constant bullying. Yes she made mistakes, but what person hasn't in thee youth. Hopefully a law can be passed for stricter disciplinary action when bullying is proven and evident. Also shame on feminists for making this tragedy a medium for furthering their own agenda.

Jjaks@hotmail.com October 13th 2012 | 8:20 PM
Frances wrote:

I couldn't stop cringing every time I heard this lovely girl's choices referred to as "mistakes." We are so limited by judgements. This article opened my eyes to understand my gut reaction. The problem is more than bullying. Girls and women everywhere need to pay attention to the lesson: to not be defined by, or need constant approval of, our appearance in order to feel valued. We are worth so much more than that.

if you saw her video on YouTube she admittedly said these were mistakes she made.

 

Jjaks@hotmail.com October 13th 2012 | 8:20 PM
fed_up_with_the_bs wrote:

Sad part is... if this was a 16 year old boy who did the flashing and got bullied and killed himself, he would have been called a "sexual pervert" and he "deserved it"...

a girl does it, shes a heroine and / or a martyr. Notice the absence of females saying what she did (flashing online) was "wrong".

None of you. And with that absence, you are opening the door for it to happen to another female child because she doesn't know it's "wrong" cause you won't teach her that it is... and most of you got the nerve to call yourselves "mothers".

Amanda Todd's death is being used as a vehicle for feminazi's political ajendas and misandry ...that is just utterly disgusting. so once again, Amanda's being "used".. but this time by other women for their own selfish reasons.

Shame on you. Let the girl rest in peace and stop trying to politically rape her and scavange her death for fuel to run your  "misandry machine". Shes been through enough.

Stop being a bully.

stop using sexism and simply mourn the loss of this young girl

 

A reader from Rio, Brazil October 13th 2012 | 9:21 PM

“It made me want to take a topless photo and post it online with a statement of protest. Of course, I won't do this..."

Typical feminist hypocrisy. "I'm not exposing my breasts because I'm fully aware of how detrimental that is to my reputation and social status, but immature teenage girls with no access to responsible adults to guide them should totally do it."

That's the problem with political types and ideologues. They'll encourage YOU to do all the things that are bound to advance THEIR ideology/political position that will get YOU in trouble and that THEY don't have the courage to do themselves. Politicians have no empathy or respect for human dignity, and the political party that goes by the name of feminism is not an exception.

Sad Joe October 13th 2012 | 9:21 PM
Jjaks@hotmail.com wrote:

stop using sexism and simply mourn the loss of this young girl

 

some of the comments here.... i seriously hope you women have no sons. From what I read they would destined for mental torture  

benjamin frost October 13th 2012 | 9:21 PM

Please, let's not turn this into an assault on men. This person was not even man. Whoever did this is wretched, vile, malicious and terrible. A Real Man would not do this.

This has nothing to do with feminism. You are exploiting this for your own agenda. When and if they catch the villain, will we explicitly give credit to all of the 'Police Men' who served justice?

Stop playing the gender card.

I think a better perspective would be to explore the possibility of mental and personality disorders. The girl seemed to display symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Perhaps she had it previously, was vulnerable to it, and/or developed it because of these incidences.

A lot of her detractors don't recognize the vulnerability of a child. They make statements about how she should have toughened up. If she had borderline, that is an almost impossible thing to do.

My point is that some people are more vulnerable to the effects of bullying. Educate people that not everyone is that same and that serious psychological  issues can arise from this behaviour.

These events are tragic. I am repeatedly offended at all of the clowns who have posted comments and pictures with zero class. I have even spent a few hours fighting them off, reporting them, banning them and hiding their comments.

It makes me absolutely sick. It's times like now, even as an aetheist/agnostic, that I wish there was a hell to send them to.

My condolences to her family and real friends.

ohnonotagain October 14th 2012 | 3:03 AM
Jjaks@hotmail.com wrote:

stop using sexism and simply mourn the loss of this young girl



Yake your own advice, feminazi!

globe of frogs October 14th 2012 | 6:06 AM

Why are there no criminal charges against the man who hounded her to death? Blackmail, stalking, distributing child porn, bullying, cyber-stalking, he hasn't even been named, much less charged  with anything, while the victim was destroyed by those around her. Surely she is not his only victim, who is he?

Dr.Pell October 14th 2012 | 6:06 AM

Since the person who was allegedly harrassing her on Facebook has never been identified why do you assume it was a man rather than a female posing as a man, or some lesbian predator? In fact, it's more likely it was a female because many of these cases in the past involved females harassing other females The person who hit Amanda was also a female and she did it because she stole her boyfriend. So how is any of this misogyny?

Margaret October 14th 2012 | 7:07 AM

Thank you so much for this post. Thank you thank you thank you.

Dr.Pell October 14th 2012 | 8:08 AM

What really got Amanda upset wasn't just flashing her boobs but the fact that she learned that she had flashed them to a dyke and was extremely embarrased by this, as any Normal young girl would be, and that someone would find out about it. It would be as disgusting and upsetting as if a boy had flashed his dick to some homo believing it was a girl. As we all know, lesbians are constantly trying to groom young 13 yo girls, as seen in the Vagina Monologues where a 13 yo girl is raped by an old dyke. btw, this disgusting play was scheduled to be performed at a college near me by I managed to obtain an injunction from a judge to stop it the day of the performance on the grounds of obscenity, child porn and corrupting the public morals. And although the actress that was going to play the part of the 13 yo was 18 I still managed to argue at the hearing that she  appeared much younger and the play should be stopped. In fact, I used the same argument that wacko feminists use when they want to ban some porn film because the girl "appears" to be under 18. Good going girls because your misandry over the years has created a legal system that we will now turn against YOU. Within two years feminism will be dead and you prune faced man hating spinsters will just be a big joke and laughing stock, as you were in 1970. It's now come full circle.

Dr.Pell October 14th 2012 | 8:08 AM
globe of frogs wrote:

Why are there no criminal charges against the man who hounded her to death? Blackmail, stalking, distributing child porn, bullying, cyber-stalking, he hasn't even been named, much less charged  with anything, while the victim was destroyed by those around her. Surely she is not his only victim, who is he?

It was a dirty dyke responsible for all of this and yes she  should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and imprisoned for many years.

benjamin frost October 14th 2012 | 8:08 AM
globe of frogs wrote:

Why are there no criminal charges against the man who hounded her to death? Blackmail, stalking, distributing child porn, bullying, cyber-stalking, he hasn't even been named, much less charged  with anything, while the victim was destroyed by those around her. Surely she is not his only victim, who is he?

This was going on for 3 years. They can not identify and locate the perpetrator. Until we know who did this, let's refer to them as 'the person' or possibly even 'the people'. This could be anyone, including a group of teenage girls (like the one's who physically assaulted her). Probably a more descriptive term would be 'the animal(s) devoid of all human emotion'.

 

thetruth October 14th 2012 | 9:09 AM

First off, R.I.P. to Amanda Todd. Let me get that out the way first.

So.. from what the news has said,... she killed herself.

key words : "She" and "Herself"

SHE... killed.... HERSELF.. (and even have proof that she did it to herself while no one else was present)

But the feminists are looking for the "man" to blame for all of this. Not the mother who ignored all the ongoing signs that something was horribly wrong with her daughter.. they want to spare her.. and look for a MALE to put all the blame on.

Thats like losing your car keys in London, England... but looking for them in California because it's sunnier there and the lighting is better.


I can now understand why most of you mothers are single. Hopefully your kids do better than your failed attempt at being a human.

 

Rose Clinton October 14th 2012 | 9:09 AM

"The most effective presentation I have seen is one by a group called LOVE because it is real, artistic, and cool, and they actually talk about racism, poverty, and sexism."

What about a link to this group - sounds like an important link to share but was missiing from the article.

benjamin frost October 14th 2012 | 9:09 AM

"We rally around her, publicly decry the man’s behaviour as coercive, criminal. We come together in the public domain to talk about sexism and how it is wielded to remove a woman’s power, convince her that there is nowhere that is safe for her, and shun her in the eyes of the communities on which she depends."

As I've stated previously, we don't know the identity of the perpetrator. My thoughts are that it was most likely a male, but we don't know.

Secondly, Amanda was the target of bullying at school and had no friends. I'm willing to bet, that other girls exercised extreme emotional abuse on the poor girl. Females can be malicious to each other, using emotional attacks and cause a lot of psychological damage. How many girls called her a slut?

The typical reaction of most males to this incident, are had they known, they would have immediately rushed to her defense. It has even brought a tear to their eyes. Men are just as angry and upset as anyone over this.

After the initial attack, the continual cyber-stalking could have been anyone with access to the original photo that was distributed. It could have been an individual or a group.

The photo was the source of the damage. Most of the real damage was caused by the bullying at school. I'm not going to target females as misogynists, because of the acts and words of a few stupid girls towards her.

This was a mass fail of civililization and society as a whole. The majority have now risen up and shouldered this together, albeit too late. It is more important that we all unite to end this behaviour, regardless of gender.

thetruth October 14th 2012 | 9:09 AM

I also noticed in her video explaining what happened, she got jumped by a gang of girls. Direct quote from Amanda Todd's video : ("So she did.. she threw me to the ground and punched me several times...")

Now, unless those girls were men dressed up as girls (highly unlikely, as Amanda Todd would have explained that in her video if that was the case) then all we have as evidence so far that the only people who physically assaulted her thus far were FEMALES. (And we all know how "catty" women are by nature)

Nobody hypnotised her to kill herself or used a Jedi mind trick on her so lets write that off completely as it's just absurd.

So far, the only people around her that are suspects in her death are :

1) Her mother (they interviewed the "mother".. meaning she was responsible for her well being.)

2) The girls that openly jumped her at school and physically assaulted her.

3) Amanda Todd herself. (even though it's known she killed herself and caused herself bodily harm with cutting, bleach drinking..., im sure the feminazis still won't acknowledge this and are looking to blame someone else..  which is why i provided #1 and #2 because those are more likely the culprits)

Conclusion : 1, 2 and 3 are all females.


Feel free to hate on the truth all you want. The truth is still the truth.

 

 

Juan Velasquez October 14th 2012 | 9:09 AM
Hear Amanda Todd's death is a big disaster in our society. It seems as everything is corrupted. it supposed that after our thanksgiving day all of us have given thanks to the Lord for all that we have, doesn't matter if it good or bad. They are parts of our lives. And we must love our lives, doesn't matter what happend around of us. This situation is a clear demonstration as our society lost the human rights and values ( and I'm not blaming the Amanda's action only). If people focus their lives in worthty things, this death and other never had happened. Amanda was a new victim and we have the responsabilty to stop the next ones, not only through the stop-bullies champain, but improving our human values and claiming the human rights against the systemic sexism. This is the key to honor the Amanda death.
Kerry October 14th 2012 | 10:10 AM

Honestly, I don't agree with this article at all. I don't think we can keep saying that what happened to Amanda was due to sexism. She didn't kill herself because they posted the picture online, because I'm sure if the people in her school tried to help her when this happened she wouldn't have had such a huge reaction to the picture. This man uploading a picture was a big factor of what happened, but this isn't a story about posting a picture online. This is a story about bullying, or it should be.

And Amanda Todd was bullied by both girls and boys, we can't just blame one gender. And as it seems in the video, there is a lot of bullying that happened by girls to her. And the reason Amanda took her own life wasn't because there was a picture online of her breasts, it was because people would not leave her alone about it, people kept bullying her to the point where everything seemed hopeless. This was not a sexist act, she did not take her life because of one gender and we cannot pin a suicide down to one event, down to one person or even one gender.

benjamin frost October 14th 2012 | 11:11 AM

In regards to my post "Please, let's not turn this into an assault on men."

More people actually disagree with this statement than agree? Wow! There is more wrong with society, than I had originally thought.

benjamin frost October 14th 2012 | 12:12 PM

Why isn't anyone talking about the Matriarchy involved in Amanda Todd's life and death After all, it was fellow female students and peers who emotionally destroyed and devasted her selfworth and esteem.

The Feminist Groups also completely failed. They can not even control or teach their own gender to embrace their brethren. Men would never do this to each other, as they have a strong sense of brotherhood, loyalty and honor!

I have seen many statements on the internet from young boys and men, who would have gladly stood up to protect her. On the other side, I have seen statements from other girls calling her a slut and whore!

When will females learn to embrace each other, instead of  Kitty Kats competing for the role of Alpha Female? Why are women so mean to each other?

***Please Note the Irony***

And tomorrow, we will blame the Jews!