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Finding gold in the cracks of everything

Finding gold in the cracks of everything

My evening began with a discussion about character observation for script writing while enjoying a 'Dark Matter' beer at St. Augustine's. Creative juices flowed and I was excited about how the night would unfold. I entered the Fei and Milton Wong Experimental Theatre at SFU Woodwards and the zealous opening speeches by Michael Boucher, Norman Armour and Peter Dickinson were a perfect introduction to the 2013 PuSh Festival.

"Do what I do before every show: take a deep, deep breath and jump," Peter said just before the performance began.

Image from "A Crack in Everything", illustrating the the visions one sees through the layers of perception.  (photo credit: Cherylnn Tsushima)

There I sat, in the furthest row away from the stage not sure how I was going to absorb Zoe Scofield and Juniper Shuey's concept to write my first ever review of a performance. But Peters words stayed with me so I jumped, trusting that I knew what to do. As the music by Greg Hanes began, the lights and visuals invited me in and the choreography held my hand. A voice arouse as if the performance itself was my subconscious speaking to me, "just write what you are sensing". I was transported, developing my own perceptions and emotions and on a journey through self talk and spiritual guidance.

Inspired by the live blogging at the Push Festival Launch Gala and Marioano Pensonatti's concept from "Sometimes I think I can see you", I chose to share with you a summarized version of the words that I wrote, pure, raw and unedited. (full blog post)

(photo credit: Christopher Duggan)

"A Crack in Everything"

Differences and similarities, large and small.

Everyone has a challenge 

Mistakes

CRACK

Adapting to your body, realizing your strengths once again.

Let me relax.

There I am

I see my patterns 

CRACK

Something feels Divine

Coming closer to myself, coming closer to each other 

I am the only one stopping myself from escaping

 (photo credit: Christopher Duggan)

 After, we sat in the lobby and mingled with the crowd, nibbling on some amazing appetizers. I had the opportunity to meet Tim Carlson and Jeremy Waller with Theatre Conspiracy and discussed a bit about Club PuSh and our interpretation of the performance and what the ego means.

This was a well executed multi-media presentation, capturing the senses needed to communicate that in humanity, flaws exist no matter if we want them to or not. It encouraged me to uncovering some of my own layers.

In my personal journey of self exploration, I have discovered that we all have many layers, dimensions and reasons that drive us and push us through life. Art and creative expression in general have been a driving force for me and have allowed for healing, understanding and acceptance of the many cracks I have stumbled upon.  I believe that the importance of expression creates a platform for one to feel grounded and connected.

After suffering from depression and being hospitalized last year, I drifted into a sea of unstable emotions. During my recovery (which is an ongoing process), I experienced one of the most eye opening realizations; fear and ego are aspects of life that as much as we want to avoid, can in fact be positive forces when accepted as tools for learning. So with my fears and ego in hand, like a wrench and a hammer, I trusted that throwing myself into my passions would guide me through my aspirations.

We are born with everything we need. What we create is an extension of ourselves and a contribution to evolution. Whether society accepts our contributions as right or wrong is not important because controversy will exist as a layer that inspires growth. For as long as we feel that we have expressed ourselves and we are giving and receiving with a genuine need to satisfy our environmental, communal and personal evolution, we can rest our conscience that everything happens for a reason.

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